Nothing Else Matters but a good pun

Several of us thrashed out a very punny heavy metal conversation about Metallica today – here it is in marked-up glory.

Netgate: <3 the S&M version of Nothing Else Matters
* Jeremy nods.
Tristan nods as well
Colin: man everyone is listening to Metalica lately
Colin: including me
* netgate always listens to metallica
Netgate: just, selectively
Kim: I was too, a few minutes ago
* Jeremy listens to more Bach.
* Johan also listens to Bach
Johan: Metallica wins this round…
Kim: you don’t want to be picking fights with Metallica
Kim: they have a huge gorilla who plays the bass
Johan: No, doing so would be unforgiven.
Kim: aside from it being unforgiven, they may well up the anti and decide it’s Killing Time
Jeremy: If you beat them, though, you’d be the Hero of the Day.
Kim: given their bassist gorilla, beating them is probably a Thing that Should Not Be
Kim: although, once you’d done so you could Turn the Page and move on
Jeremy: Of course, you’d have to be somewhat insane to consider it. I’d recommend a lobotomy to save them the trouble – I’ve been taking a Crash Course in Brain Surgery.
Kim: that probably alters your eating patterns. Do your subjects become Breadfans?
Jeremy: Kim: No, I’m a better Master of Puppets than that.
Jeremy: The only real side effect is a moderate case of Motorbreath.
Kim: clearly this is not the busiest week - Tuesdays Gone already and we’re debating One of the most impossible items we’ve ever discussed. We must be Stone Cold Crazy
Jeremy: I’ve been waiting on database stuff a lot. I can’t really do much Until it Sleeps.
Jeremy: Why is the rest of the gang not joining in this Devil’s Dance?
Kim: do you think they will? I hope you’re not waiting for the Day that Never Comes
Johan: I Disappear
Jeremy: You’re just worried they might be Better Than You…
Kim: perhaps they’re otherwise occupied. Too much Whiskey in the Jar
Jeremy: Am I Evil? I always just ascribe the worst motives to their non-participation.
Kim: I prefer to be more generous, more of a Loverman if you will. I think maybe they’re just waiting for the thread to Die, Die (my Darling)
Jeremy: I keep wanting to work “Sympathy for the Devil” in. Maybe it’s the reference to Blitzkrieg that does it.
Netgate: my luck’s about as good as you could get with a No Leaf Clover, so I may have to be counted out
Netgate: even if that leaves me Unforgiven
Kim: You can’t bring in “Sympathy for the Devil”! That’s a different band - it could lead to Civil War. Someone will end up Knocking On Heavens Door
Jeremy: Too Late, Too Late. Unforgiven’s already been used.
Jeremy: If you’re going to start rhyming again, I’ll make you Jump in the Fire…
Johan: The Memory Remains of that, Jeremy?
Netgate: let’s just launch him to Orion
Kim: hopefully you’ll just pass out though, and it will be the clue to “Enter Sandman”
Johan: Bitter like Cyanide I bet.
Jeremy: I’ve always been partial to Astronomy.
Johan: Sad but True
Netgate: oh, The Struggle Within…..how one must choose…
Jeremy: Although I’m seldom awake enough at the Small Hours.
Kim: this is taxing my ability to work from memory alone. I had to look a few titles up. The More I See now the easier it should get
Jeremy: That’s hardly the right Attitude to bring to this, Kim.
Kim: The Wait before I started looking names up was quite difficult though. It was like a little Creeping Death - it gave me a headache
Kim: I’ve been Fuelled with new ideas
Jeremy: Memory a bit of a Fixxer upper? You must be getting old…
Kim: Mama Said I’m not old yet, so no, I’m not
Jeremy: Don’t think you can Slither out of it that easily…
Kim: Age is merely in the Eye of the Beholder, after all. Wherever I May Roam, I remain youngish