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A Full Pun(net) of Avocados

Publish date: 18 Jul 2023
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Some time ago on a group chat, Johan Kohler and I had a very punny and (to me at least) very funny exchange (humour mainly thanks to Johan). I had asked a question about a connection issue I was getting with Apache Guacamole, which started us off with this brilliant first entry from Johan:

Johan: Have you tried adding Leminjooce? I forgot who makes it, but I’ve heard it can improve the experience.
Kim: no, but I did try the Garlik and BlkPppr modules.
Johan: Hmm… Sounds like a tricky issue then. You could try something completely different, like HMUS. It has mostly the same features but is built on a different framework. It also works with Garlik and BlkPppr. I think some people in this channel are very familiar with HMUS.
Johan: If you installed guacamole using tapas you may even have HMUS already. Worth checking.
Kim: Unfortunately not, I extracted it manually from the Avocado container ecosystem and then compressed it.
Johan: That approach makes sense if you want to add more instances organically.
Johan: Are you using the official commercial version of Avocado or did you get it from a third-party vendor? The third-party one is often a lot cheaper but it is harder to obtain, depending on your region.
Kim: We have a large number of local third-party vendors at several locations convenient to my office, all with direct road access.
Kim: I also have a completely local supplier on my premises, but supply is extremely erratic.
Johan: If it is so common in your area maybe it is a bandwidth issue. I assume you are using fibre?
Kim: Fibre at the core of the system, but fleshed out with other supplementary items.
Johan: Probably not that then. I suggest you check the makefile of guacamole for options to tweak or try a different execution worker. Maybe you can spot a pattern which can help to narrow it down.

Breaking the fourth wall somewhat, I had to ask about the last one:

Kim: I’ll confess I was getting more and more obscure but you’ve outpunned me, I don’t get your last 2.
Johan: Use a different recipe or let someone else make it.

For the non-Durbanites, my reference to local third-party vendors is referencing people selling avos at traffic intersections, a common sight in Durban. The completely local supply is a reference to the avo tree I had in my garden at the time.