Category Archives: internet

The atmosphere was electric!

jerith, voyager42 (Voyager below), Jonathan McKeown and myself had the most pun-filled conversation that I’ve had in ages over Jabber IM recently: here it is in marked up glory. Everything is related to electricity, software or both – if you get all the puns you’re as sad as the four of us are 🙂

Kim: from a recent facebook posting from a friend:
Kim: FirstGuy wants to be a transformer
Kim: Comment from SecondGuy: "You'll have to step up"
Jerith: Wrap a bunch of wire around him and apply a large current?
Kim: What a shocking thing to say!
Jerith: Doesn't my suggestion charge your enthusiasm?
Kim: well, it certainly has potential
Jerith: I'm happy to field questions...
Kim: on the current topic only?
Jerith: I'm not resistant to other topics.
Kim: well then, let's conduct an interview
Kim: perhaps I can induce you to let on more than you should
Jerith: I was about to suggest an inductance process for new partners.
Voyager: Make sure they're not bi-polar
Kim: sounds great - I'm amped about this idea
Jonathan: This conversation is rapidly exceeding my capacitance for puns
Jerith: Jonathan: That makes you an impedance to our plans.
Jonathan: Right that's it - I'm going ohm
Kim: Watt did we say?
Voyager: He hasn't the energy for this
Voyager: He should rather go home and re-charge
Jonathan: I'm going to do a volt-face and stay here
Jonathan: the atmosphere's dielectric
Voyager: Seems a bit static now
Kim: now you're alternating!
Jerith: Was that comment directed at me?
Voyager: That hertz
Kim: At least I only make such comments periodically
Voyager: Perhaps. It was a bit direct, currently
Kim: Imagine what RMS would have had to say
Jerith: Are we integrating him into this circuit now?
Kim: only discretely
Jonathan: he'd probably leave in a fit of pique-to-pique
Jerith: What LED to this decision?
Jerith: I'm sure we can rectify his errors...
Jerith: It should only require a half-wave on our part.
Voyager: Assuming he rates us highly.
Jerith: I thought diode more to his philosophical legacy than I actually do.
Jerith: So perhaps I should be insulated from that particular debate.
Jerith: Can you guys conduct it in my absence?
Kim: perhaps we should avoid such a debate - it can be quite polarising
Voyager: I understand. It may cut too close to the core for comfort.
Kim: little positive can come of it
Jerith: And certain parties have been known to oscillate wildly between viewpoints.
Kim: with remarkable frequency
Jerith: As has been made crystal clear already.
Jonathan: yes, not just two-faced but sometimes three-phased
Voyager: I prefer to be neutral in such situations.
Voyager: Apologies for the delay, my train of thought was just interrupted.
Jonathan: You should take the bus
Kim: that's often not on real-time though
Jonathan: Apparently it even has a bar - the bus-bar
Voyager: Not to worry, the Signal-to-Noise ratio is much better now.
Jerith: The power of public transport to damage schedules is unparalleled.
Voyager: Because it's all serial, not to mention last in first out.
Kim: at least the routes are fairly linear
Voyager: I will have to be excused...I'm getting an upgrade.
Jerith: And I must sadly return my energy to work matters. :-/
Kim: taking a break from this endless circuit?
Jerith: That was more pun than I've had in ages.
Jonathan: yes, you're all such live wires

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Filed under geekery, humour, internet, punny, Uncategorized

The Daily WTF, now without stupid comic

I’m a fan of the Daily WTF – not all of the posts are amusing, but enough of them are to keep me coming back. However, I detest the comic which the site carries – Mandatory Fun Day (MFD). Unfortunately the site only provides a single RSS feed, containing everything. In order to filter out MFD, I created a Yahoo Pipe to strip MFD related posts out of the feed and pass the rest of the RSS through. It can be found here.

Yahoo Pipes are a really nifty tool – you can do a lot more with them than merely filter out some content from an RSS feed, but this works for me quite nicely.

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Jabber: the IM of choice of 9/10 evil maniacal geniuses

pkeike, jerith, voyager42 (Voyager below) and myself had a very amusing conversation over Jabber IM a little while ago: here it is in marked up glory. Let this be a lesson to you: never forget the duck…

Voyager: FOOLS! Now I can take over the world! mmmuahahahaha!!!
***Kim makes a note to contact the specialist and see about having voyager's medication adjusted, yet again
***Jerith plants a small explosive device somewhere in Johan's dirigible.
***Pkeike makes a note to contact the surveillance team and see that voyager is actually having his medication
***Kim makes another note to politely decline future offered lifts in Johan's dirigible
Jerith: Oh, I replaced the dried frogs with sugar pills. Far more interesting that way.
Jerith: I'm thinking of adding caffeine and the merest hint of LSD.
***Voyager makes a note to remind the specialist, surveilance team and bomb squad who they work for
Pkeike: jerith: I was just wondering if his paranoia meds need to be adjusted or forcibly administered
Kim:  I already added the LSD
***Pkeike makes a note to remind the surveillance team of their cover story
Jerith: Tri: They are being correctly taken, it's just that he's on different (and more interesting) meds.
Pkeike: fair enough, social experimentation ftw!
Voyager: But who is experimenting on whom?
Voyager: twitch
Jerith: Everyone on everyone.
Jerith: It's more exciting that way.
Kim:  excellent - the twitching has begun
Kim:  we can proceed to stage 5
Jerith: Umm, I did that last week.
Kim:  prepare the generator and the clamps
Jerith: The twitching should have cleared up by now...
Kim:  you did?
Pkeike: dammit jerith, communicate!
Jerith: Unless you were continuing with stage 3 procedures...
Pkeike: or at least put it on the damned wiki!
Jerith: I left a message in the secondary dead-drop.
Kim:  yes, but you used last months cipher
Kim:  so the message was disregarded, as per agreed protocol
Jerith: Oh, blast. My autoupdate script failed on the encryption module.
Kim:  now we have to "reset" the subject for the umpteenth time
***Kim prepares the mind scrubber
Voyager: You guys are crazy
Pkeike: Good. Standard response received. We may proceed.
Pkeike: Good work Kim
***Voyager notices nothing strange.  crazy==normal, after all
Kim:  excellent
Kim:  I so hate it when the scrubbing fails and a new subject is required
Kim:  subject-acquisition is such a tedious process
Jerith: Especially when you forget the duck.
Kim:  that's why the wiki's HOW-TO page specifically specifies the mallard

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An open letter to the people who write applications which require no Internet access but whose documentation is only available online

In many parts of the world, including the part I live in, always-on-Internet is far from cheap and frequently completely unavailable. Since your application has nothing to do with the Internet, I and many others use it for whatever it’s designed to do while not online. When we decide to consult the documentation, it is therefore extremely frustrating to have your application launch our web browser and attempt to navigate to the location on your website that the documentation lives at. Your application requires no Internet access – why on earth should the help do so?

At the least, kindly inform the prospective user when they’re downloading your application that the documentation is only available online. Far better would be to offer them the option of downloading the help documents at the same time, while they are currently online, if you do not wish to bundle them with your application by default. Unless your help documents are hand crafted HTML, providing the documentation in a separate format should not be a problem.

Thank you
Someone who doesn’t have a 24-hour online life but yet would still like to use and possibly purchase your application

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Google Calendars

I’ve recently been playing with Google Calendar, and I’ve created a publicly viewable calendar for the North Durban Lions Club. What strikes me as so cool about it is that even if you don’t use Google Calendar yourself, you get to play. HTML links are provided, both to the public calendar entries and one for the private ones too (which I’m not providing 🙂 ).

It can also be embedded in other websites, and even apparently shows up in Google searches, although I’ve yet to encounter this.

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The biggest dork on the web

I’ve just realised that I have neglected to link to the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on the web – the MIDAS dorm room automation system.. The guy who put this together has to be the biggest dork I’ve ever seen. The whole site is worth visiting, in particular the links to his car and garage alarm system. However, what cracks me up the most is the “Party Mode” he installed, with a big red E-Stop button to activate. What happens when activated? Observe:

Go on, play it again to savour “Feel the Energy”. My colleagues and I can only presume that he and his roommate then proceed to party alone. However, he has proof that this is not true:

We were wondering what he paid the girls. Actually, that may be unfair – maybe they’re related to him. Or perhaps they were attracted to his awesome acting skills?

I really must recommend spending some time at his site, if only to be boggled at his unique dorkishness. I admire his technical capacity, but I’m utterly baffled by the why of the whole thing…

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